Thursday, December 16, 2010

Blessed are those who mourn

We said goodbye to Walter 9 days ago. It's still fresh; it feels like yesterday.

My heart is so broken today. I understand that we all have hard providences to suffer. I know that our suffering is part of Gods plan, but even in knowing that it still hurts so deeply.

Grieving is a natural Godly process. We are not meant to just shrug off our losses like robots. God made us deeply emotional and spiritual beings. There is no shame in mourning. In fact, it is encouraged. God wants us to mourn, to use those deep emotions he granted us. "Blessed Are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4)

The tears seem endless at times, but I want to grieve. I want to feel every ounce of longing to touch Walter's little hands and face again, to cry every tear, to feel my heart ache so much I can barely breathe. I want to acknowledge my son and his short existence. He lived. He was my son. He died, and He went to be with his heavenly Father.

There will be a day that I rise up from the ashes, that I look to the heavens, that I pick myself up off the floor, that the weeping stops, the darkness lifts, and I see the sunshine again. It just isn't time yet. My arms ache to hold my baby, and that's all I know today.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

To think these thoughts with you is to stand on holy ground. I quietly agree.