Thankful in all things

I am thankful that in my simple human mind what I deem as bad for me, my Savior knows better. He allows me to go through trials and difficult circumstances to grow me into someone more like His Son Jesus.

1Thessalonians 5:16-18 - "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

That word "all" stands out for me at this time in my life. We are to be thankful in ALL circumstances. No matter how bleak our situation, there is always much to be thankful for. We can even be thankful for the situation itself because any time we have difficulty to overcome we know there is an opportunity to grow.

This earth is only a pitstop in our journey to eternity. This is where we face opportunity and challenges everyday where we can decide whether we will hide and wither and stunt our growth or we will rise to the occasion, honor our loving Father and allow Him to shape us and sanctify us into the children He would have us be.

We are not promised tomorrow, an easy life, lots of money and possessions, a husband or wife to share our life with, a roof over our heads, good health, lots of children or anything else that we might desire. Each of these is a gift. Maybe we even have one or all of these, and maybe it just isn't exactly HOW we want it. Maybe we don't have enough money. Maybe we don't like our house. Maybe we don't like our spouse. Maybe we have children but not as many as we would like, or maybe they don't behave the way we'd like them to. Maybe we are healthy, but we don't feel like we're 16 again. Isn't it interesting that no matter how God has blessed us, it just never seems to be enough. The truth is we are not owed anything, yet if we really ponder and really consider our circumstances we are all blessed in some way.

I am amazed when I look around me and see so many Godly men and women who have either gone before me or are still living with some type of daily struggle. I've seen women battle cancer and still do it with a smile on their face. I've seen them take care of their husbands and children happily. I've seen them, no matter how afflicted, drive themselves to church so they can worship and thank their heavenly Father who has blessed them with another day. I've seen men have to stop working and doing the things they love because of a life threatening illness, unable to provide for their family and reduced to sitting in a chair in their backyard, still thankful to be alive. I've seen women lose their husbands unexpectedly and raise their small children alone without complaint or bitterness, still teaching them how good God is. I've seen women who are barren, overcoming their own disappointment enough to open their home to children they have never met before and raising them as their own.

I am thankful today for so much. God has given me so much more than I deserve. I am thankful for the example and standard that so many Godly men and women have set for me. I can only hope to develop just SOME of the character that they have exhibited.

To God be the glory. He has given me so much, and I lack nothing.

Happy Belated Halloween!

I should have posted these days ago. I can't resist. He is just too perfect...

Our little scarecrow...

Freebies & Saving $$$

I have been obsessively clipping coupons ever since I got my driver's license (it's been 10 years already!) In the last few months I've really kicked it into overdrive. I get multiple items for free every week now, and I think I've gotten my system down to a science. Here are some easy, helpful tips to get the most out of your money and to get the most without SPENDING your money:

1. Buy at least 3 newspapers for triple the amount of coupons each week. This is key, especially when there is a sale on items that you have to buy multiples of to take advantage of the sale price.

2. Match your coupons against all of your local grocery stores, chain stores and drug stores weekly circular. I probably visit at least 3 of these stores in my area each week to take advantage of each of their deals that week. For example, at CVS one week I got my husband a free Gillette Fusion razor. That same week I got 2 sample sizes of Tide detergent and 1 sample size of All detergent at Target. I also got free frozen vegetables at Shop Rite and 4 free pints of Starbucks ice cream, among numerous other items that I cannot recall at the moment. Another week, I got 2 free bottles of salad dressing, 3 free candy bars and 2 free bags of shredded cheese at Walmart. After a few weeks of searching for these types of deals you should have a pretty good idea what stores are going to give you the best deals. This is your core group of stores where you should focus your energy.

3. Take advantage of rebate programs. Rite Aid has a fantastic rebate program. Last month alone I made $60 back in overages, earned a $20 gift card and got $100 in free products, just for purchasing rebate items and using my coupons. This is a great opportunity to make some money and get lots of free products. I charged everything to my credit card and a month later had a check mailed to me to cover the amount that I charged plus the additional $60. This program has been my biggest money maker so far.

4. I cannot emphasize this one enough - scour the internet for coupons. I get many of my freebies from checking out coupon forums to see what deals other people are getting and from printing my coupons off the internet. www.coupons.com and www.hotcouponworld.com are both great sites. I also get many of my deals from checking out blogs like www.thethriftymommy.blogspot.com and www.krazycouponlady.blogspot.com. I've gotten free mp3 downloads and tons of free samples through the mail because I follow websites like these.

5. Combine manufacturers coupons with store coupons. Target is a great place to do this. You can get something free or very close to free every week from this store just by combining sale items with store and manufacturers coupons. A couple weeks ago I got several bags of Chex Mix from doing this. Skippy peanut butter was only a few cents a couple weeks before that. Most recently I got 2 packages of baby wipes for free using just a Target store coupon. Sometimes, it isn't even necessary to have BOTH a manufacturer and store coupon to get something for free.

6. The more time you put in now, the less time it will take you later. Many people are turned off by the idea of couponing for the sake of time constraints. Here's what I would say to this: it is an investment that pays itself off quickly and if maintained properly will take up less time the longer you keep up with it. I have two coupon filing systems - one is for groceries, the other is for eating out/house (drycleaning, home repairs, etc.)/clothing. Because I have these filing systems set up, every week when I clip my new coupons I already have an organized way to keep track of them. I probably spend about 30 minutes a week clipping my coupons from the newspapers and filing them and about an hour comparing my coupons with whatever sales are going on that week. I save an average of roughly $40 to $50 a week (and maybe even sometimes more than that) on our grocery bill. You do the math.

7. Farmers Markets - Okay, so this part isn't really about coupons, but I have to share anyway because this concept is close to my heart. I LOVE cooking with whole foods. I'm not really one to buy processed foods for my family. Because of that, vegetables and fruits are a staple in our home. Since I have been buying our produce at the Farmers Market our fruit and vegetable grocery bill has been slashed in half. Some weeks, if the week prior I have stocked up on meat and other items, I don't even have to visit the grocery store. I love avoiding the hustle of the grocery store and the long lines whenever I can. At the Farmers Market everything is fresh, cheap and I'm in and out quick.

I'm going to stop here for now.

Happy couponing!!!

God ALWAYS provides even when we're not looking...

It is so easy for us to wake up in the morning, rush through our day and forget about all that God has provided for us, even the smallest things. This morning my husband woke up at 4am with his throat closing up. We had a normal evening, went to bed, not a hint that anything was wrong. Allow me to point out from the second he woke up up until we returned home all that we had to be thankful for.

I'm thankful he wasn't traveling on business by himself yet. He was scheduled to take a train at 5:30 this morning and travel until 12:30 this afternoon. This happened only an hour before he would have left the house. I'm thankful my sister in law happened to be visiting. Our son woke up crying while we were getting ready to leave for the emergency room. Sarah (my sister in law) stepped right in and took care of him so we didn't have to be concerned with getting him ready to bring with us. I'm thankful the hospital is about a 3 minute drive from our house. I'm thankful for healthcare and that we even HAVE a hospital. I'm thankful that the waiting room was empty when we got to the emergency room. Aron was able to see a doctor right away. I'm thankful for wisdom and the minds that God has given us so that doctors can learn how to save people's lives. I'm thankful for modern medicine. The doctor was able to give Aron IV antibiotics and something to reverse the swelling in his throat.

The thing that stood out the most to me during the sequence of events this morning was this though:

I'm thankful for my husband. Not long ago, I was stung by a bee in the middle of the night, and Aron drove ME to the emergency room. I vividly remember feeling panicked (I tend to have allergic reactions to the things as well as anxiety). I also remember him holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be okay. This time, it was him who was in danger, and I was supposed to be HIS comforter. I found myself becoming anxious for him. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to possibly worry him more. As I was gripping the wheel and wishing I could fly to the hospital he just looked at me, reassuringly squeezed my hand and said, "It's okay...I'm okay."

I am amazed at my husband's composure and strength in situations like these. Even in situations that look bleak or frightening for him, he manages to stay calm and comfort ME. I'm thankful for him, not for having a husband...but having HIM for my husband.

The Best 100% Whole Wheat (with a little flax) Homemade Bread Ever

Anyone who knows me well knows about my ongoing obsession with using whole ingredients when I'm cooking or baking, especially flax seed. I found this recipe online a few months ago and have tried baking this bread regularly every couple of weeks or so. It has been delicious from the beginning, but now... perfection. After several attempts using different measurements and ingredients I have come up with what I believe is FANTASTIC, healthy, homemade bread. But here is the absolute best part - it's super easy. I don't have a bread machine so I do this by hand. (I know that sounds intimidating relative to time management, but trust me, it doesn't take long at all). Here it is:

Ingredients:

1 3/8 c. hot water

1/6 c. olive oil (I use Smart Balance oil sometimes)

2/3 c. milled flax seed

1/6 c. honey

1 tbsp. molasses

1/2 tbsp. sea salt

about 3 c. whole wheat flour

1 tbsp. active yeast

1. Mix together water, oil, flax seed, honey, molasses and salt.

2. Add 1 c. flour and the yeast. Mix.

3. Add the other 2 c. of flour a little at a time while mixing until the consistency becomes even. There should be just enough flour to keep the dough from sticking to the bowl. The less flour you can get away with using the better. I usually don't need more than a total of 3 cups. Try not to overmix it.

4. Leave the dough in the bowl and cover with a dish towel or cloth. Let it rise for about 45 minutes. It should almost double in size.

5. Grease a loaf pan with cooking spray. (I like to use a stoneware pan. It always comes out perfectly baked all the way through without being too tough on the outside. I also use Smart Balance cooking spray to grease the pan).

6. Knead dough and drop it on to a floured surface. Knead some more. Return dough to bowl. Allow to rise for another 30 - 45 minutes.

7. When dough has doubled in size again, remove it from the bowl and place on a floured surface once more. Knead again and shape into oblong loaf. Place into loaf pan. Let it rise. This part takes a couple hours some time. I have the best luck when I leave the dough in front of a sunny window. It should just about double in size.

8. When the dough looks like it is about ready to bake, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

9. Bake for 30 - 35 minutes.

10. When bread is done, remove from oven and pan and cool on rack.

You can eat it right away. We love it with a mixture of extra virgin olive oil (or grapeseed oil), a little fresh ground black pepper and grated parmesan cheese. When the bread is completely cool, wrap it in a layer of plastic wrap and a layer of foil. You can leave it out on your counter, and it should stay fresh for a few days.

"Feminine Appeal" by Carolyn Mahaney

Oh, where to begin. I finally finished "Feminine Appeal." I don't know why it took me so long. It's a fantastic book. I suppose having a 9 month old and having the tendency to be easily distracted could be reason enough.

I'll just get right to it...

I marked off several pages (which is what I do whenever I see something I'm reading that I want to refer back to) in the second chapter alone"The Delight of Loving My Husband." Carolyn recalls to mind that before they were married her husband would often be too busy with his ministry and forget to eat. She didn't mind because she was so thankful for just his company that she would ignore her own hunger pangs. Not long after they were married she began to resent that they would miss meals. She wondered how he could be so selfish as to be so engrossed in his ministering to other people that he would forget about her own discomfort. The key here is this: It wasn't her husband that had changed; it was her. Where were those loving feelings that she initially had for this man? They were replaced with sinful thoughts of anger. She lost her patience with him while he was learning how to care for his new bride. I was really struck when I read this paragraph:

"If we find that our affection for our husband is waning or has subsided altogether, then we do not need to look any further than our own hearts. Where sin is present, warm affection dissipates. Anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness - all vigorously oppose tender love. This love cannot survive in a heart that harbors sin."

Wow. Guilty as charged of all of the above. These sins will choke the life out of a marriage. I can attest to this. Where my "self" becomes the priority, there is no room for love or warmth. We can point the finger at the other person all day long, but when it comes down to it we are responsible for how we react and feel. I am not saying that it is okay for a husband to treat his wife unjustly, but even if he does, a sinful reaction on her part is just that - SIN.

It has become far too easy in my life for me to justify my actions because I feel I have been wronged, whether by my husband or someone else. Again, Carolyn writes "When we see our husbands as sinners like ourselves - sinners in need of God's grace and mercy - it strips away any intolerant, critical, or demanding attitude we may be tempted to have. Every husband has areas where he needs to change and grow, but so do we!" How true this has been in my life. I have wronged my Savior over and over and over again, but I am so quick to forget that fact. I continue to stumble and sin against him on a daily basis. What right do I have to look at ANYONE else like they are worse than me. If I could just hold on to this truth, I can only imagine the world of difference it would make in my marriage and my relationships with others.

"Feminine Appeal" is so filled with Godly wisdom for wives it's worth reading yearly. There is much more I could add here, but in the essence of time I will leave it at that.

Seeing Value in Being a Mother

I have only been a mother for 9 months. My son doesn't know the difference between right and wrong yet. He knows to cry when he's hungry, tired or needs his diaper changed. He smiles and laughs when he is happy (and what a beautiful sight and sound that is!) This is as far as his world extends at this point in his life. Sometimes I struggle with seeing the value in "mothering." Because my son's only needs include diapering, feeding and sleeping, those are my only duties at this point. Lately I often catch myself giving into exhaustion and my feelings and allowing myself to fall into an attitude that doesn't exemplify that of a Godly mother.

Here is a quote from John Angell James' book "Female Piety" that I keep coming back to:

"At a pastoral conference, held not long since, at which about one hundred and twenty American clergymen, united in the bonds of common faith, were assembled, each was invited to state the human instrumentality to which, under the Divine blessing, he attributed to a change of heart. How many of these, think you, gave the honour of it to their mother? Of one hundred twenty, above one hundred! Here then are facts, which are only selected from myriads of others, to prove a mother's power, and to demonstrate at the same time her responsibility."

What a reminder of the great privilege we have to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord! There is no greater objective a mother must have for her child. There is nothing wrong with desiring good things like happiness and success for our children, but these things are fleeting. When we are gone, and our children breathe their last breath and it's time for them to meet their Maker where will their happiness and successes in life and personal fulfillment fall? Will it matter? Our lives on this earth are no comparison to our lives on the other side of eternity. I know it will be so tempting for me to put their comfort and joy on this earth before everything else, but I hope and pray I will not give into this desire. I'm not there yet, but this is something that I know I need to praying on and preparing myself for. They need to love and know their Savior better than they know anything else.

So, when I find myself getting impatient and doubting my value as a mother, I keep coming back to that quote. It is easy to become impatient with the sleepless nights and exhaustion that come with raising a baby, and I do continue to struggle...but I will continue to remind myself of the greater goal that is ahead of me.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward." (Psalm 127:3)

What a great responsibility and amazing gift the Lord has bestowed upon us.

Ethan has a monkey on his back!

so long sweet summer...

Our little boy loves the warm weather and loves to swim already, just like his Daddy.

thankful

I am thankful. I love my job. Wiping a runny nose, changing & washing dirty diapers, washing & folding laundry, washing dishes, ironing, waking up every 1/2 hour to comfort my ill child, making dinner, shopping for dinner, vacuuming, running errands...taking walks with my son in his stroller, hearing the chime on my phone signaling my husband's text message "I miss you...I love you...Wish I was at home with you...," hearing my son's belly laugh, receiving my husband's hug after a long day at work, putting my son down on the floor for 5 minutes, leaving the room to tend to making the bed and finding him 10 feet across the room (he's not even crawling yet).

To the feminist population, this would probably be a disgusting display, but for me - it's all I've ever wanted. It may seem ridiculous to millions of women, maybe even most women, but this is what I was designed for. Sure, there are times that I grumble. I can be sick and delirious with exhaustion, but overall I still love my job. I wouldn't trade being a wife and mother for anything in the world.

I am thankful for my husband who provides for us and actually ENCOURAGES me to stay home to raise our child, who after a long hard day at the office is more than willing to stop at the grocery store for me to pick up the lettuce I forgot when I was there earlier and then watch our son for a couple hours so I can take a bath, read, recharge my batteries or do anything I'd like to relax, who brings me flowers "just because," who writes me poetry, who prays with and for me, who serves me elaborate breakfasts in bed every single day for 2 weeks while I'm pregnant and on bedrest, who goes to work all week to make it possible for me to be a "stay-at-home mom." He never complains, never tires, and never forgets to show his affection.

I lack nothing. I am so grateful to God. I am totally undeserving. I am totally humbled.

Another Milestone

Ethan rolled over this morning, and unfortunately I missed it. I put him down on his playmat, so I could go take a shower. I heard him chattering away as he usually does, and when I came back to check on him there he was on his stomach.

I'm amazed, even after all of the warnings that I have received from so many other mothers, at the speed at which Ethan is growing and changing. It seems like every week he's doing something new. It is just unthinkable that it has already been almost 6 months since he was born. I try so hard to hold on to each stage, to memorize his face, his movements and his sounds, but time just keeps on flying by. Memories start to fade just a little more each day. I look at him on his changing table, and it seems like yesterday he was only half this size. I would love to freeze time right now at this stage he's at. He's beautiful.

Our New Addition

Ethan Joshua Gahagan
6 lb. 14 oz.
January 21st, 2009
1:54 am

a short two months

I can't believe it's been over 2 months since I've posted something on here. Time flies!

I've had a lot of people tell me that the end of a pregnancy goes by the slowest. I hate to do this (not really), but I have to STRONGLY disagree. It seems like it's going by faster and faster every week. It's so hard to believe I'm almost 35 weeks along at this point. In a month I could be holding my first child in my arms. Completely surreal.

I have been very blessed with a relatively "mild" pregnancy as my husband puts it (and he's right). There really have been no complications, and I have pretty much been able to go about my day to day life without much changing. The last couple of weeks have been a little different, I suppose, but for the most part it's been smooth sailing.

However, when I went to the doctor's today I was informed that things may be progressing a little too quickly. Apparently my cervix has gotten thin, and the baby's head is very low. This in essence means BED REST.

It's only been a day, and of course my initial reaction is that of a very selfish one. "What about the grocery shopping?" "I'm not done cleaning up from Christmas." "There's laundry to be done." "Who's going to make dinner?" "I'm going to be stuck on the sofa or in bed all day?" "I have a lot of living to do!" Yes, I know. It all sounds VERY whiney.

But I see the blessing. My husband has really stepped up to the plate. He has no problem running up and down the stairs to get me a glass of water every half hour, as well as carrying things around for me and not letting me get up or move around a lot. Did I mention the half hour foot massage he gave me tonight (and already has been doing on a regular basis)?

Some very dear friends came over right away with a meal for our dinner tonight (thank you, Greg and Natalie!). A true expression of love within our congregation. What a blessing! And even enough food for tomorrow night.

Instead of taking on the "me" attitude, I am going to be challenged for at least the next two weeks to put someone else's needs before my own - my baby.

A couple of women in my life have been such an encouragement to me recently regarding my situation. They have reminded me that God is in control and that I should take advantage of this time to rest, reflect on what is about to happen to our expanding family, pray, read, and enjoy not having any "expectations" of me. I am truly blessed, and I am thankful now for this special gift of "time" from God. I trust that He will show me how best to use it and that all things are in His hands.